Progress

This probably won't be the most eloquent written blog you have ever read. I am still processing this past week but I felt like I needed to write it all down so that I can hopefully get it all straight in my head so please be gentle with me. :)

I started out the week anxious. I knew it was going to be a big week and I was excited and nervous at the same time! I left work early on Monday and headed to my doctor's appointment (singing at the top of my lungs the whole way there). Once I got into the doctor's office I got a surprise! I found out not only was I doing blood work that day I was also getting an ultrasound!  I was a little shocked and completely unprepared mentally. So while they left me to get ready I tried to prepare myself to see my first look at my insides... I don't think I did a very good job! The doctor came in and started the ultrasound, it didn't take him long to find that I had 10-12 cysts on each ovary. After we were done with the ultrasound I got my blood drawn and waited for my doctor to come back so I could ask him a few questions.

When my doctor came back I asked him what finding the cysts meant. I had heard about P.C.O.S (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) so I asked him if he thought that was what it was but he told me he actually thought that I had endometriosis.  I don't know much about that but I do know it scares me more than P.C.O.S so on my way home I started to freak out just a little. I started thinking about everything that I did know about endometriosis. I have heard that birth control slows endometriosis which I have not been on since a month after Cody and I were married and that's about all I know. So I was a little worried about that.

When I got home Cody held me for a minute since I had already called and let him know what the doctor had said and then I decided instead of lying around worrying I would go to zumba! Good choice since I go with my mother in law and she has been through all the endometriosis. After an hour of zumba and a good talk with my Mother in law I was feeling a little better and I was ready for Tuesday and the HSG procedure.

Tuesday morning we woke up and ran to the store before we headed up to the hospital. The HSG thing is a little painful but it wasn't bad as I was prepared for so I was grateful for that.  The P.A that did the procedure for me was awesome and said that the X-rays looked great. All I had to do now was go home and wait to hear what the doctor had to say and hope the cramping went away! :p

We didn't hear from the doctor on Tuesday but I wasn't really expecting to but today I was anxious for my phone to ring... it did. I got to talk to my doctor and he said that the blood work and HSG looked good and that he wanted to do the Laparoscopy on March 14th. Sooo... Now we are waiting again! I have a pre-op exam on March 10th and then on March 14th I will get the laparoscopy and hopefully confirm and get rid of the endometriosis so we can get pregnant.

I am a little nervous about getting all of this done but I think more than being nervous I am excited. I just want to get this done tomorrow ha ha I want to know what is going on and just get a baby in my belly! I am excited to ovulate this cycle too because there is still a chance that I don't have endometriosis and I just had a blockage and we could get pregnant right??? A girl can hope right? I just feel so lucky that I have so many people supporting me! Thanks for asking me about what is going on (that has helped me want to blog) :) I feel like I have been making some good friends through this process. Thanks for your friendship and as always please like the blog post comments/questions on the blog and facebook and feel free to follow my blog too! I have been toying with the idea of trying a video blog but I don't know if it would be that great... So seriously any suggestions you more experienced bloggers or vloggers out there have is welcome!

Until next time...

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X ray explanation

Thanks to Janna for the comment, this is me trying to answer your question!!  Sorry I kind of just mention this X ray a ton and don't ever explain it! That was partly because I didn't know too much about it but thanks to WebMD I pretty much understand it! Obviously I will have more information when I actually get the procedure done but I do think I know enough now that I can explain the basics! Hopefully this all makes sense! :)

Okay so the procedure is called a hysterosalpingogram or HSG. It is an X ray that looks into your fallopian tubes, uterus, and the surrounding area.  They do this my inserting a catheter or other thin tube into you and insert dye. The dye then travels into your uterus and up into the fallopian tubes and they take x rays while it makes it way through you. They do it to check for blockages, abnormality in the uterus, or foreign objects (what?! That freaks me out a little).

The whole procedure takes about 15-20 minutes and can have fairly little pain associated with it or it can be very painful depending on the person (hoping for little to no pain).  Then you are all done and you wait for the results.  Like I said before for some women the dye that was inserted actually cleared the blockage and they get pregnant pretty quick after so of course that's the ideal! I am hoping I will be one of those lucky women but I guess we will have to wait and see.  Hopefully this answered your question and if any of you lucky women out there have to get this done now you know a little more about it! :)

I seriously live for the comments so don't be afraid to ask! I am an open book! :) Thanks for the comments and thanks for the support!

Until next time!

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Didn't have to wait long!

Okay so I know I just posted like yesterday but today I am officially on day 1 of my cycle and I am going in to get my blood drawn again on Monday the 17th and then I get my HSG/X ray done Tuesday February 18th! So I think next week will be an emotional crazy week! Needless to say my hubby is super excited to take care of me and all my emotions haha.

I am pretty excited and nervous! I feel like this is going to be a big turning point in our lives! Cody and I have talked about having kids but now we are actually taking charge! Thanks to all of you who have shown your support, I definitely need it!

On a more spiritual side I have to say I have been amazed by how much my savior has given me lately! I feel overwhelmed by the love, peace, and comfort I have felt, sometimes at the hands of my lovely husband, and other times from all of you! Several times this last week especially I have felt overwhelmed with the spirit and have felt God's love for me and for all women! I don't mean to get into religion on here but I just had to share how I have been feeling because it has been such a blessing! I was reading in Luke today about Christ and some of the miracles he performed for women and almost started crying on the frontrunner because it just hit me so hard. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love the women of this world. They are aware of you and your struggles, and if you draw near to them you will feel their love constantly!

I will leave you with that until next week! Thanks for reading!

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Waiting...

So some of you careful readers out there might have noticed that I said I had my blood drawn in the last post and might be wondering if I received the results... I did. Unfortunately I don't know if I should feel happy or a little bummed. My hormone levels were normal so automatically you think YAY!!! Hallelujah I am normal but my mind also goes to dang we still don't know what's wrong and now I am back to waiting! Way to be pessimistic I know! :)

I actually am glad that my hormone levels are normal and every step no matter how small is a step towards finding out what is wrong so I am so grateful that we were able to get my blood drawn that day instead of having to come back!  I also feel tremendously blessed to have such a great doctor who knows what he is doing since I have no clue what I am doing, and I can't wait to see what he is able to do for me! Fun fact my OB/GYN is the same doctor that helped my mom deliver me about 24 years ago! Kind of weird but also kind of neat we are really hoping he will be able to deliver our baby someday too!

I am kind of getting excited for this X ray that I am going to do soon! A lot of you out there have been so sweet to share with me stories about this X ray and what it is all about.  I have heard a few stories about women who were able to get pregnant very soon after they had this done so that gives me so much hope!! Apparently when they got it done it knocked the blockage free! I have also heard I have some pain and cramping ahead of me, but I am trying not to focus on that part! :)

I don't have any new news on the baby front just waiting for day 1 of the cycle which I have never been excited for until now, but I do want to say thanks to all of you readers out there! I have been so grateful for all the comments on Facebook and the few that I have received on the blog, and I hope as I continue this blog that you guys will feel even more comfortable asking questions and giving advice.  I have to say it has been a little weird opening up on the internet for the whole world to see but so far it has been amazing how much love and support I feel from people I didn't think would care about little old me so thanks again.  Hopefully I will be posting again with news soon but until then if you have anything you would like to know about me please comment below and I will make sure I answer your questions! You can even be anonymous if you prefer! :)

Until next time! Thanks for reading!

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Nerves

You know that feeling when you are so excited for something coming? It's exactly what you've been dreaming of and waiting for, and then it's almost here and everytime you think about it your heart jumps into your throat? That's how I have been feeling the past few days. Ever since we found out Cody was A-okay I feel so nervous for my appointment. Like I said I have been waiting for this moment for so long! I have been waiting to go to the doctor for months. I have been praying for answers for months but now, when answers are just around the corner, I am just plain nervous.

I can't help thinking about what they will do, how quickly they will be able to find the problem, how long will it take to fix it, will they find it, can they fix it... ect. ect.  I have been so excited for this moment for so long what if I am let down again?  I have spent years being let down month after month what if this is just another let down?  The final let down? What if this is the time in my life where they tell me sorry charlie you will never be pregnant?  It's terrifying, and I find myself doubting whether I really want the information at all.

So here I am thinking about all of this the morning of my appointment and on the brink of an anxiety attack! Luckily I have my rock Cody with me. He was able to calm me down and we were off to my appointment.  We got into the doctor's office pretty quick! So we are sitting there waiting for the doctor and I am seriously on a roller coaster! My feelings are all over the place and I am going from excited to terrified every 3 seconds or so and then the doctor walks in! We chat about questions and all of that and I lay out the details and answer his questions and he tells me the plan... Do you want to know what it is??

Here it is! He said I actually came in at the perfect time! They were able to draw my blood today to check hormone levels and now I am just waiting for my period to start. The day that happens I have to go in for an X ray... I hear that isn't what I think it's going to be and there might be some pain. Next I will wait a few days and then go back in for more blood work... at some point there will also be an ultrasound and we should know what is going on in about two weeks. If we do all this and it and can't find out what is going on we will be headed back to do a laparoscopy.  That's the plan so far and I am pretty excited and just ready to get started! I am not sure how my journey compares to other peoples so if you have been through any of this and have insight I am very interested in hearing what you have to say!!! 

I am so thankful for the job that I have too! My supervisor is so supportive of me and she said she will work with my crazy schedule while I am figuring this all out! I can't believe how truly blessed I am, and I can definitely tell that the Lord's hand is in my life. He has been there for me through all of the hard times and now I truly believe he is blessing me with answers. Everything feels like it is starting to fall into place and I am hoping we will have a big announcement soon!  Despite all the fears I have deep down I feel like I will have the incredibly amazing and tough experience of being pregnant and whenever I am feeling hopeless I draw on that feeling! It has definitely helped having so many amazing family members and friends supporting me on my journey! You have all encouraged me and lifted me up when I was down! Thanks for reading and I will be posting next week although I am not sure if I will have any news for a little while so if anyone has any ideas on what they would like me to post about next week feel free to comment below! :)

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